A Drug Called Me

Life for some when they are a child is filled with laughter and fun

 

But there are a few who never feel the joy of a hug or the soothing words of a friend

 

Memories of the cruel tricks played upon me in fourth grade

 

The emotional echo of the memories upon the school bus,

wondering if someone will let me have a seat.

 

The feelings of unbearable words of hatred as spit wads and the pain of the bruises of the previous day began to ache and prepare for another day of torture.

 

I remember the long days of sixth grade worrying if I’ll have to sit at a table by myself again at lunch.

 

The violent days of seventh grade as I was slammed into lockers all the way down the hallway as my books were kicked all over or thrown in the trash, causing me to be late to class for the same rerun of mockery from everyone I met.

 

The nights of eighth grade of crying to sleep still manifest in my nightmares.

 

The images of being in a cheerful mood because I wasn’t insulted for an entire class period are quickly dimmed by the pain of my broken nose received the week before.

 

The dark oil of the verbal and physical pain soaked the torn cloth of my heart.

 

Every insult and with every curse, I blamed myself for what was really the pain of others.

 

I confused what was real; the blanket of insecurities was pulled upon me.

 

The thick walls of fear took the power of prayer to fall.

 

No matter how hard I tried life fell apart, I was everyone’s destruction property.

 

I was like algae, I just flowed with the current, never having anything solid to hold on too.

 

The words of the prayer where I asked God to bless me with friends took over 3 years to be answered. I was rejected from others so they can lift themselves up, the same way Christ was rejected by the world and by it we can be lifted to eternity with him. The love you gave me at the cross, is more then any love on earth can be attain and for that my hearts song will never end, the constant trials I have are really just bends in life, the road will end one day where no insult will be heard or bruise be felt.

 

For that I give my life as a testimony to your unfailing grace.